10/05/09: Bereft
I have lost myself
Or what I thought of as me
I see that now
Feel it in the wind
When it whispers empty songs
and I stand unmoved
The sun has lost its shine
Flowers, their luster
And the stars, their twinkle
I fold into myself
Trying to grasp
the profound nothingness
I have been reduced to
I lay in the dark
hollow and bereft
10/01/09: A Method to My Madness
I am an enigma to myself
A walking riddle yet to be solved
Burdened with so much grief
I am yet to be absolved
From a childhood, lost and forgotten
From a trust that was sourly taken
From a heart, forever broken
From a truth soon to be spoken
I am swimming against a current
Of an existence so senseless
Incessantly, I am searching
For a method to my madness
—
“I don’t have a method to my madness.” – Heath Ledger
I just love that quote. Currently reading Heath Ledger: Hollywood’s Dark Star.
Notice
As all of you may have noticed (all 1 of you), my last update on this blog was more than 2 months ago. I have decided to stop writing poems every day because it resulted in watered-down, meaningless drabble. I was squeezing everything out of me and I always felt like I was working with a deadline. As a result, whenever I needed to write something for myself, whenever I was feeling down or something, I couldn’t. Or I could, but it was basically shit.
So I have decided to stop forcing it, and just write whenever something inspires me, or whenever I feel like crap and need to vent out. I will, however, keep this blog and will keep updating it with my poems. So stay tuned for that. 
#194: 07/13/09: Dreams
Dreams
They are fickle things
Capricious and spasmodic
They change course like the wind
They are uncertain
Unstable on their own feet
We dream big
Only to live so small
Oh, dreams!
What playful things
They stay put just long enough
For people to shatter them
They are grains of sand in our fists
Water running through rocks
They live only to change
And we dream only to give up
—
Got mixed up with this. Don’t know why WordPress didn’t publish it. Pfft.
#210
Breaking through my skin
Like sweat on a summer’s day
Oozing from inside me
As if escaping from a prison
When it is I who is locked up
Caged deeply from within
Counting the days just to pass the time
Confined in my own depression
#209: 07/28/09
She’s folded into herself
Rejecting all the world
Locked herself inside
With only just her words
Her only companion
The tears in her eyes
To avoid the bitter loneliness
She cries most of her nights
Her days are not much dif’rent
She hardly ever lives
For ever since she lost herself
All she’s done is grieve
What’s the use in searching
She knows it can’t be found
The passion in her heart
Might as well be underground
Oh, she feels her heart breaking
Painfully and constantly
She hasn’t much else to lose
For she has never healed fully
She doesn’t really remember
Ever feeling whole
She’s always felt that in her heart
Is a great big gaping hole
And to this day she fights a battle
Against the universe
For taking away an empty heart
That was never really hers
#208: 07/27/09: Drifters
We are drifters
Drifting from one place to another
Changing from one state to the next
We leap to the sky
Flying with the birds
And nearly touching the clouds
Then we dive into the ocean
Disturbing the fishes
And sinking to the bottom
We are tied to nothing
And we embrace everything
The world is our oyster
And also our doom
#207: 07/26/09
How awful that love never chooses
That it always comes too late
You think you’re with the right one
Then you’re smacked around by fate
For being so foolish
For believing a lie
For promising to stay with her
Until they day you die
So now you are stranded
In an island far too small
’cause though you know you shouldn’t
You let yourself just fall
#206: 07/25/09
She begged him not to go
Dropping to her knees
Clutching her heart
She cried for him to listen
Promises of change
Of true love and devotion
She made them all
As she begged for him to stay
Crawling closer
She touched his boots
She begged him not to go
And he begged her to let him
—
Bleahest of all bleahs.
#205: 07/24/09
Why must we play such childish games
When we know they’re all just rigged?
Throwing stupid little rings
On bottles far too big
Shooting orange basketballs
Into impossible oval hoops
Riding this roller coaster
And crying on the loops
We only fool ourselves
Playing games we cannot win
Just hoping for the myst’ry prize
No one’s ever seen
—
LULZ Adventureland-inspired.
